6 Ways to get a stronger erection

Have you ever felt ashamed of not satisfying your partner because of erection problems?

As you grow older you’ll find it a little difficult to get a strong erection and satisfy your partner in bed. A weak erection can strain your sexual relationship, and hurt your pride as well, to say the least. So, it is always necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle for a fully satisfying sex life.

Remember, a strong and hard erection is something women crave most for while you gear up for some action between the sheets.

We bring you six ways to get a harder erection.

1. Eat well, keep it hard: Simple changes in your diet can increase your libido and give you a harder erection. Foods like bananas, eggs, nuts, figs, chillies, onions, and wine can increase your sexual prowess. Word of caution: Steer clear of junk food.

2. Your penis needs exercise: Healthy men are always sexually active. Exercise is one of the best ways to increase your sex drive and sexual potency. It reduces stress which is an erection-killer, and helps enhance testosterone production in the body. Kegel exercises are a perfect workout for the penis.

3. Avoid smoking or drinking alcohol: You must have heard this a million times, smoking and drinking can really affect your sexual life. Smoking decreases your blood circulation, and results in less lung capacity. It can impact your ability to get and maintain an erection. And alcohol can numb the body and lead to temporary erectile dysfunction.

4. Don’t masturbate too often: Save something for a real sex. Excessive masturbation can decrease your sexual appetite. Continual erections and ejaculations may lead to weaker erection the next day. So, control the urge!

5. Know the right sex positions: Always warm up with oral sex. Sexual positions like missionary and doggy style allow more blood flow, leading to a stronger and harder erection. And don’t ever let her ride you first!

6. Throw away those tight undergarments: Avoid wearing tight, or any, undergarments, for that matter, while sleeping. It restricts blood flow to the penile tissues which in turn can affect erection strength. Always go for loose, airy underwear.

Simply stop worrying about weak erections and lead a healthy sex life.

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Why women think about sex more often

‘Men think, while women desire.’ Gone are the days when ‘demanding sex’ was considered exclusively a man’s forte. Today women demand sex greater than men. And they have no qualms about getting vocal about it. “I read these funny E-mail forwards that stress on men begging for sex and women denying it. It sounds so funny to me. It’s totally the opposite in my case. While men can have a good laugh over it believing that this notion exists, I literally have to seduce my husband to get him hooked on to the act,” quips production assistant Megha Mehra. And she is not alone. Many girls/women had a similar story.

We spoke to women from different backgrounds to figure out what is making them addicted to sex.

It’s physically pleasurable 
Amongst all the other reasons to remain glued to sex, this is the most prominent one. Good sex satisfies your physical urge, which is very normal for anyone to experience. Psychologist Seema Naina opines, “Sex is the most basic need of any person. And I am increasingly getting cases where women are complaining that men are unable to satisfy their physical needs.”

Creates positive feelings about oneself 
Ideally, great sex means you are enjoying the sexual act and participating equally. It makes you feel good about yourself, thus adding to your self esteem. Shares housewife Neelam Nehra, “When my husband comes back from a whole day at work and we have our sack session, it increases my self esteem. The very feeling that I am able to satisfy him is a great pleasure. And since I never want to go out of shape to look unappealing to my husband (and other men), it even acts as a motivation to work out and feel desirable.” Wondering why?

“Sex has healing powers. It generates positive emotions and makes one feel more confident. When a woman sees her man passionate in the act, admiring her body and moves, it infuses a lot of good feelings within her,” opines psychologist Sunaina Bajaj.

Brings them closer to their man 
Physical intimacy releases hormone Oxytocin, which is also known as the love hormone. Agrees relationship expert Vandana Mitra, “I have always maintained that couples should never take sex casually. It’s a very important ingredient for any relationship to sustain. It helps couples to nurture the relationship and strengthen the bond.” So whoever said having more sex with your partner means lesser cases of infidelity, made sense.

Content developer Prachi Sinha states, “I feel a major connect with my boyfriend after we make love. I just feel like being close to him. My faith in him and our relationship grows stronger.” Prachi’s boyfriend agrees, “When she told me about the 7 days a week sex, I initially could not stop laughing. I mean, this is not the only thing we have to do. But honestly it has got us closer. I just can’t take my eyes off her even when we are moving in a crowd.”

Negates unwanted emotions/ Stress-reliever 
Sex is not just a physical sensation but it’s comforting and relaxing. Call centre executive Neetu Sharma shares her experience, “Whenever I have a bad day at work, sex really helps me unwind. It totally takes the stress out of my mind and makes me feel relaxed and rejuvenated.” Psychologist Reena Kapur explains why. “Sex involves a lot of deep breathing and touching and the hormones that are released during the act calm you down.”

Great form of exercise 
Thirty minutes of sex burns more than 85 calories. We have read it almost everywhere that sex helps in burning calories. Confirms fitness consultant Stuti Batra, “While I do not suggest giving up work outs, doubling up the session makes you drop more weight.” While this is the most deadly mix, many girls are seriously taking to it. “It may sound a little funny, but while making love I prefer to play the dominant role. It helps me burn greater calories, leaving my guy in ecstasy,” says Payal Verma.

Invokes passion 
“Sometimes I feel like a pervert, because I find myself always thinking about my boyfriend, and what we did the night before. It gives me a kick and makes me crave for our next sack session. He thinks I am crazy, but it really happens to me,” shares call centre executive Richa Sharma.

“It is completely normal to fantasise about sex. But I have heard it can freak a guy out- we men are still adapting to the concept of women demanding sex more than us. But we love that passion,” admits psychologist Prateek.

Women news, Sex news, Relationship news, Passion, women think about sex more often

Casual Sex: Why It’s Important After A Split

If you’ve been stuck in a bad marriage for a while, getting divorced is a release. Yes, it’s still hard and sad and complicated, especially when there are children involved. But the truth is, once you’re out of the marriage, it feels like a weight has been lifted.

And with that lifting can come an invigorating rush of new-found sexuality.

Sure, for some divorced women, whose marriages dissolved unexpectedly or as a result of infidelity, the heartbreak and trauma they’ve experienced can translate in to a complete lack of sexual desire.

But others, like me, who were unhappy in their marriages and whose divorces gave them relief, can’t wait to break free.
Break free to have some hot, casual sex, that is.

My informal polling of other divorced women tells me that I’m not alone.

For the last few years of my marriage, my sexuality was completely repressed. It even trickled into my daily life, from the asexual way I dressed in long shorts and oversized shirts to the lack of goings-on in my bedroom. My marital issues numbed my attraction to my then-husband, and my unhappiness deflated my libido.

So after my divorce, I was ready to re-discover the sexual part of my personality, both alone and with a partner, because a vibrator only takes you so far. I didn’t go bar-hopping looking for a roll in the sack, but I did date casually. Meaning I had casual, protected sex with people I knew.

And having sex to fulfill my needs without looking for an emotional attachment? It was no different than what hordes of men do. Just judged differently. And it worked for me.

Until I met this one guy and started running into him around our small town. At the grocery store, his restaurant, and yes, a local bar. Over time, we became friends and stayed that way until a late-night ride home turned into more. And that wound up putting my casual sex days to an end. That guy became my second husband.

So while I actually did know him before I stumbled into bed with him, we didn’t go on a date until a month after we first had sex. A year-and-a-half later, we were married. And after being together for 10 years, I can happily say that this time, it’s worked out.

But I wouldn’t change those years in between my two marriages. I’m thankful that I had a handful of casual relationships before I settled down again. Having those experiences helped me become comfortable with my post-divorce self — and let me get my ya-yas out.

Do you have any tips on sex after divorce? How do you feel about casual safe sex?

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7 Horrible things couples always do after sex

It’s just one of those mistakes that couples often commit soon after enjoying an intimate session with their partner. They might have made all the necessary efforts to satisfy their partner in bed, but just one little mistake can spoil all the fun!

The nature of these after-sex mistakes hints that you were just waiting for sex to get over so you could indulge in some other non-sexual activity. Or in some cases, it shows that you had something else running through your mind while having sex.

Though these are absolutely unintentional acts that partners get caught up in, these are often the terrible goof-ups that kill the sexual mood. Also, couples fail to understand that switching off from the sexual state of mind can leave the other partner highly irked.

Dr. Pushkar Gupta, a Chandigarh-based sex therapist opines, “It is very likely that partners who right away indulge in something else after having sex, might have performed sex as a duty and not an act of enjoyment. While there are several ways to keep up the mood even after the actual sex is over, some partners look for ways to remain busy and thus they end up committing lesser known ‘after-sex’ mistakes.”

Dr. Amita Mishra, sex and relationship expert states, “After enjoying the sexual act, if a partner tries to get involved in something not related to sex, it surely makes the other partner feel disowned. While there should be an effort to linger on with the sexual feel even after the actual act is over, couples who deviate from this mood are certainly affecting their sexual relationship.”

We list some recurring ‘after-sex’ mistakes that couples indulge in. So the next time you get intimate, make sure you do not switch into something else just after finishing the act. Let the mood linger on for enhanced pleasure …

Falling asleep at once : Most couples come across this problem where either one of the partners or both would fall asleep soon after having sex. It certainly is a big goof-up that can kill the charm of sex. Sleeping at once would not allow you to cherish your performance and neither let you enjoy the mood with which you enjoyed that night of passion.

Making way for washroom : Enjoying a hot shower together can be a great foreplay act, but rushing to the washroom right after a hot romp is definitely not! While couples won’t mind getting messy in their sexual acts, but as soon as it’s over, they make way to the washroom to clean-up. It might sound okay, but they forget that the other partner might still be enjoying that mood and want to have more of it. Heading straight to the washroom makes the other partner feel that there’s been something unpleasing about the act, which can mar your sexual bliss.

Calling a friend : This is another common mistake that couples face after a steamy session. While it’s obvious that none would call a friend at odd hours to discuss official matters, so why can’t a petty talk wait till the morning? When it’s time to enjoy sex, it’s indeed a gaffe to keep your eyes and ears stuck onto your mobile phone waiting for a message or keeping an eye on your missed calls. It makes the other partner feel as if you’re just not interested and thus ruins all the fun.

Heading towards study or work : What couples think of during sex remains an unanswered question. Those who head towards study-room right after a romp may just give the answer. Thinking books and reading is indeed a sex blunder! Like sexual moments, it’s equally important to enjoy the after-sex pleasure. If you rather descend towards your study, leaving behind your partner, it won’t bring any good to your sexual relationship. If you prefer reading a book instead of cuddling and snuggling, you are indeed inviting trouble into your sex paradise.

Sleeping separately : You might have a habit of sleeping separately in guest bedroom or on the terrace, but on a particular night when you’ve een intimate with your partner, exceptions are allowed. After a lovemaking session, it’s not a good idea to abandon your partner and pack your sheets and pillow to move to another room for a sound sleep. It will not only kill the passion on that night, but would also tarnish your sexual relations for several nights to follow.

Bringing kids to sleep along : Letting anyone invade your sexual privacy is bound to mar your sexual pleasure and kids are no exception. Many mothers have a tendency to bring kids to sleep alongside on the same bed and if that happens after having sex, it can’t get worse. Well, such a gesture has all the reasons to annoy the other partner, who might have planned something more sensual to be enjoyed after a steamy romp.

Eating another meal : Eating an aphrodisiacal meal together with your beloved can be a great start before a lovemaking act. But moving to the kitchen right after having sex looking for something to eat is equally disgusting. It ruins the entire passion and would make your partner feel that you didn’t enjoy sex just because you were hungry and had food on your mind.

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Sex is related to good health

Sex is more than just pleasure and procreation, there are several other reasons why sex is important.

Sex actually enhances the overall health of the body from fitness to proper functioning of the organs. Sex and good health go together even though Indian society portrays sex negatively. These are some of the facts on how sex is related to good health.

Benefits of sex

Exercises: Sex involves different positions, as you may know; they exercise different muscle groups – from legs, thighs, arms, hips and the core. Sex makes you sweat, literally- sex is a cardio workout in itself.

Weight loss: This brings us to our next point, since sex or the sexual act makes you sweat, you are burning calories. Hence sex can make you lose weight; sex also crushes your appetite due to the chemical composition.

Builds immunity: Sex increase the output of immunoglobulin which makes you immune to flu. It also increases bone density and repairs tissue.

Fights stress: Oxytocin is released just before orgasm which aids in the release of endorphins. These are happy hormones which suppress anxieties, stress and can fight insomnia. It also helps you digest where the nutrients are absorbed properly.

Improve tolerance to pain: Sex increases your tolerance to pain – this is especially helpful for women during menstruation and headaches. This reduces the dependence on painkillers.

Healthy skin: Sex produces collagen that can make your skin firm, soft and gives it that glow. You may have read on your cosmetic products that collagen is one of the ingredients for healthy skin.

Sex increase life expectancy: Club all these sex benefits and you can improve life expectancy.

Science is still researching on sex and its benefits; we will have more benefits of sex.

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Sex During Pregnancy: What You Should Know

A woman’s body undergoes several changes during pregnancy. At a time when the only thing that she can think of is the well-being of her child, sexual intimacy naturally becomes a secondary affair. While most women are almost averse to the idea of sex during those nine months, others experience an increased drive due to hormonal changes. Here’s what you should know and keep in mind about sex during pregnancy.

Can I have sex during pregnancy?
This is the most widely asked question by pregnant women. Pregnancy can reduce your sex drive, often leading to misunderstandings between you and your spouse. But, the good news is that sex during pregnancy is completely normal and should be treated as a natural activity. However, consult your gynaecologist about any complications that you may suffer from during this stage.

Can we experiment with sex positions?
With a baby bump, it is not very advisable to experiment with sex positions at this stage. Instead of asking your husband to be on top, lie sideways for shallow penetration. Putting weight on the uterus can be extremely dangerous when you are heavily pregnant. You can also get on top as it allows you to control the depth of penetration.

A woman’s body undergoes several changes during pregnancy. At a time when the only thing that she can think of is the well-being of her child, sexual intimacy naturally becomes a secondary affair. While most women are almost averse to the idea of sex during those nine months, others experience an increased drive due to hormonal changes. Here’s what you should know and keep in mind about sex during pregnancy.

Will I enjoy sex while I am pregnant?
Honestly speaking, sex during pregnancy can be an uncomfortable experience for most women. An increase in blood pressure may cause heightened sensation, which in turn may give you a feeling of fullness. The bad news is that several women also suffer from abdominal cramps during intercourse. Hence, ask your partner to go easy.

Is it normal if I am not in the mood for sex?
It is completely normal for expectant mothers not be in the mood to indulge in sex. The fact that the body undergoes several changes during pregnancy is reason enough for women to refrain from any kind of sexual intimacy. Alternatively, you and your partner can come up with ideas like a hot bath or a sensual massage to stay intimate and enjoy the romance.

Can we have oral sex while I’m pregnant?
Oral sex is completely normal if you find intercourse risky. However, anal sex during pregnancy is a complete no-no as it may cause infection from the rectum to the vagina. Also, make sure your partner does not blow air inside the vagina during oral sex as this may lead to blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble.

Will sex harm my baby?
Not at all! The cervix is guarded by a thick mucus that keeps infections at bay; even the amniotic sac and strong uterine muscles protect your baby from any kind of movement caused during sexual activity.  A lot of times your baby may move after an orgasm, but that’s because of your increased heart beat. So that takes care of almost everything, doesn’t it? 

Can sex during pregnancy cause a miscarriage? 
Miscarriages are the result of chromosomal abnormalities and have nothing to do with sex. Your baby is protected by the fluid in the amniotic sac, and therefore penetration would not harm the baby. However, do check with your gynaecologist if you are in a high-risk pregnancy, and if so, you may have to look for other ways to enjoy yourselves.

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Kama Sutra shedding closet status, now in mainstream: Author

Perceived as a byword for sex and appropriated over centuries to sell products and services with sexual implications, the Kama Sutra is shedding its ‘closet status’ and could soon be mainstream reading, says A N D Haksar, whose book on the ancient text in now in paperback.

“I feel that the book, which has been seen only in terms of sex, is receiving the kind of notice which I feel has been deprived in the past,” says Haksar, who has translated Vatsyayana’s commentary on the art of love and social conduct into English.

While numerous books with the title Kama Sutra have flooded the market over the years, those which have reproduced the authentic text are few and far between, claims Haksar, a former diplomat who has translated several Sanskrit classics. Commissioned by Penguin Books to do a translation for their Classics series, Haksar says he had never previously read the text.

“I had seen picture books of Kama Sutra everywhere, more of illustrated versions with very little or absolutely no text. I got hold of the original text and going through it discovered that it was made up of seven books or chapters and only one out of them related to sex and that had achieved such celebrity or rather notoriety,” the author told said in an interview.

The time has arrived to bring the book out in its totality, claims Haksar whose translation “Kama Sutra: A Guide to the art of Pleasure” was first published to much critical acclaim in the UK in the year 2011.

“Sex is certainly there but so are the guidelines on social life, about courtship, married life, ways of gracious living. Details of lifestyle of an elegant man or lady is also described in detail, advice which holds true even today,” says the author.

Scholars have placed the Kama Sutra to be written around 200 to 300 AD. “It is about 1700 or 1800 years old. Some say it’s 2000 years old but just about that.” says Haksar.

The author points out that Richard Burton had translated the text into English in the 19th century. “Burton was employed with the office of the East India company and most of the postings in west India in Bombay involved in Sindh War. He was also in other parts of the world and is better known as an explorer and a linguist and his translation was printed privately because of Victorian times prudishness.”

The text accompanied by erotic illustrations, says the author, has had many pirated versions in English as well as other European languages and this went on for 80-odd years till the book was published formally in the middle of the 20th century. “Maybe it had got to do with some kind of revision of public attitude.”

“Kama Sutra had a surreptitious circulation. My opinion is that this surreptitious circulation gave it the impression of being a closet book or one that should be kept away… In this country because of the lasting influence of Western values it persisted in the system longer..” says Haksar.

Even bookshops do not display the book prominently. “I tried out a small experiment and inquired about my book at a bookshop in Delhi and they too stacked it discreetly towards the rear. Very recently, however that trend seems to be changing with many version of KS coming out again in a public way. It is now been written seriously and not just a sex book. It is actually an account of social life as well as sex life,”

says the author.

The book is divided into sections with chapter headings that read “The training of girls”, “The quarrel in Love”, “Girls to avoid”,”The only wife”, “Making a Pass,” “Sending love tokens” ,”His background” ,”Is he worthwhile?” ,”Kinds of doubt” etc.

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These sex plans can never fail

If indeed Adam’s first words to Eve were, “Stand back, I don’t know how big this thing gets”, then marriage counselling was the obvious next step for the Bible’s first couple. And if tumbleweed is blowing through the Gobi desert that is your sex life, then Sex Tips For Straight Women From A Gay Man — the book that claims to reveal secrets that could put the vava-voom back, is for you.

Authors Maggie Berman and her gay friend Dan Anderson say they published the book after Berman and her gal pals took Anderson’s advice on how to put the spark back into their relationships and got great results.

The trick to keeping a man happy, says the book, is for women to just go for it and be more straightforward.

In fact, like a modern-day Professor Higgins in My Fair Lady, author Anderson says: “Why can’t a woman be more like a gay man?”

Here’s our selection of the best tips from the book:

Undress to impress 
Be sparing with the perfume, and never wear dangly jewellery, unless you have done a first-aid course.

Keep the hair and nail extensions a secret. If he finds a nail tip in the bed, he will think you are falling apart.

When setting the scene for a night of passion, gay men wouldn’t consider any bed less than queensized. In an ideal world it wouldn’t have a foot or headboard either, but unless you are banged up in prison, that is unlikely.

Give your teddies the night off — nobody wants to eyeball a threadbare Mrs Tiggy-Winkle when they are doing the dirty.

Keep a small supply of condoms in a bedside table and separate the foil sachets — you don’t want him to feel like he is taking a ticket at a deli counter.

Men and their rulers 
All men know the exact length of their tackle, to the nearest millimetre. Don’t ever say, “Uh, if that’s seven inches, then the ceilings in here are 20 feet high.” He will never forgive you, or worse, he may even plot your death.

Naming the crown jewels is apparently more popular among straight than gay men, with Roger topping the list, but Godzilla also gets a mention. No doubt shortened to God on a cold day.

Foreplay (ha, ha, ha…don’t get me started) 
It seems men just want women to call the shots and do all the work. This shouldn’t come as much of a shock, but perhaps it would be fun once in a while to throw caution to the wind and lose the winceyette nightie. Here’s how the book suggests you turn up the heat:

Kissing: What makes a good kiss? Loose lips, open mouth and throw in an open attitude.

Love bites: But not so many that he thinks you have an oral fixation, and never leave hickey marks.

Massage: Overzealous stroking of men’s hairy bodies can be painful for them. Instead massage muscle — if you can find some — and mix it up with some back scratching and vigorous head massage. Any longer than 10 minutes though and earth-shattering snores may ruin the mood.

Accessorise to maximise talk dirty: Put on your lowest, sexiest voice. It is not so much what you say, but how you say it — although try not to moan about him never doing the dishes.

Blue movies: Women like to read mummy porn but guys just want to watch. Show him something on film, and he will think you want it too.

Nookie monster 
In 7th-century China, Master Tung-hsuan described 30 basic positions of “clouds and rain”, but we could honestly only think of five, and one of those is impossible unless you happen to be doublejointed. The book recommends you try lots of positions, from Phoenix Holding its Chicken, to Bamboos by the Altar, and Winding Dragon, (which sounds more like a visit from the mother-in-law) and that you use a pillow for support.

In short, the authors break sex down into three main races:

Sprint: Men are always ready for sex so there is nothing wrong with enjoying a quickie.

Relays: Time things properly to reach the finishing line.

Marathons: Don’t do things by halves, this is about stamina. Try lots of positions and keep well hydrated. Perhaps think about bringing a book along if things get boring.

No way! 
Fantasy is fine as long as it is not the staple of your sex life. Lots of things are okay — dressing up, sex in a lift, dirty talk, handcuffs, edibles. But if he suggests anything that involves cutlery, feel free to say no.

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Top 5 facts about female orgasms

You probably are well aware of the fact that orgasms occur because of muscle contractions in the body, combined with an increase in blood pressure.

A result of intense pleasure, when it comes to decoding the female orgasm secrecy, one can glance through several books, publications, online reviews and whatnot! But having gone through all of this, most men (and at times women) remain confused. If you are among the bewildered, today we have jotted down for you top 5 facts about female orgasms with help from Dr A Chakravarthy, Consultant in Reproductive & Sexual Medicine at International Association of Sexual Medicine. Read on…

No#1 Myth about Female Orgasms: Generally, women can attain orgasm only through sexual intercourse.

Fact: One of three women gets orgasms on a regular basis during sexual intercourse. Few can attain orgasms with sexual intercourse but require extra acts to arouse action. Recent studies show that an orgasm is a sexual climax no matter which way you get it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.

No#2 Myth about Female Orgasms: Lacking the power to reach orgasm means that something is wrong with the women or her spouse.

Fact: Women who were capable of sexual climax in the past, but can no more do so, may be troubled with some medical issues or fallout from medicinal drugs. Women who have never arrived at sexual climax successfully, may simply be unaware about what they need to be able to attain orgasm.

No#3 Myth about Female Orgasms: Clitoris or G-spot stimulation of 5 minutes can result in orgasm, post that there is no chance of success.

Fact. While there are lots of ways of love making that can help a woman reach sexual climax, in the end, a woman is the cause for her own pleasure. Intercommunication between partners is important as well. It is up to the woman to communicate with her partner.

No#4 Myth about Female Orgasms: Hereditary and genes have a straight impact on the female orgasm.

Fact. Twin-based grounds show that orgasm frequency has a mild hereditable component. However, hereditary factors are the reasons for only a third of the population-level variation in female orgasm.

No#5 Myth about Female Orgasms: A few women are simply not capable of achieving orgasm.

Fact: About 10% of women have the disability of not attaining sexual climax during sexual intercourse. This inability to reach orgasm is known as Anorgasmia. It may either be primary or secondary. Primary Anorgasmia is a stage in which a woman has never been able to attain sexual climax by any means. Secondary Anorgasmia is an orgasm felt at some point in the past times or situational (orgasm may be felt in certain intimate spots but not others; for instance, with foreplay but not with sexual intercourse).

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Sex talk: 6 erogenous zones in men

We list the 6 erogenous zones in men that you should start working on!

Ears
Sensually swirl your tongue into his ears, nipple and suck on his ear lobes. Whisper into his ‘right’ ear what you would like to do to him, as the right ear is connected with the part of the brain that controls happiness.

Neck
Men have certain erogenous points around the neck – it can above the collarbone or at the end of his hairline. The best option is to work on two pleasure points at the same time, like nibbling his ear lobes while caressing the nape of his neck.

Scrotum
Scrotum is sensitive and responds best to light fingertip caresses, licking, gentle sucking, stroking. If the fondling is not tender, the skin loses sensitivity. Remember that the testicles are sensitive and should never be gripped hard or bitten in the heat of passion – which can kill his ardour forever.

Nipples
Always ask if you can suck them, all men don’t enjoy it. Again gently!

Perineum
The ridge between the back of his scrotum and his anus is the Perineum. Pressure with the fingertips at the mid point of the ridge can induce an erection or restore a flagging one.

Skin
Explore every inch of his body from his big toe to his big grin. Massage the length of the spine, buttocks, inside of the thigh, biceps with lotion. Physical contact itself is one way to heighten the passion.

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Dream about having sex with co-worker ?

Passionate dreams about that long ago flame, that colleague you have a crush on or even a famous celebrity can make you feel dazed and confused. But the most common emotion that one experiences is usually guilt.

Experts say that these dreams should not be taken as literal expressions of lust. In fact it is believed that interpreting and understanding one’s dreams can help unearth one’s fears or desires.

Dreams are often a way to let you know what you need but are not getting during your waking hours. By making the effort to decode them you could achieve a far more satisfying love life. Here are five common scenarios:

The Ex 
It can be unnerving, to say the least, to dream about your ex lover. However it does not mean you are not normal. You can relax as it is just your mind taking a mental break. In fact this ex could just symbolise anything that you associate with him/her. For instance if it is someone you had a crush on in college, he/she could symbolise the freedom you had at that point in your life. If you dream of an ex who was sweet and caring, it could be that you crave security while a wild ex could represent spontaneity. So enjoy the flashback as it is perfectly safe unless of course you go too far. If you have recurring obsessive dreams about this one person, you might have a reason to be concerned.

The celebrity crush 
To dream of a sexy encounter with a celebrity is not uncommon, especially among women. It could just indicate the desire to have a wish fulfilled. For instance dreaming of a romantic musician could indicate that you are waiting for that kind of person to come into your life or that you desire more romance in your existing relationship. It could also mean that you might want to be a part of the glamorous world your crush represents.

The person you hate 
Imagine dreaming about that irritating co-worker who never fails to annoy you at work. This kind of dream can definitely cause a lot of confusion – a passionate dream involving someone you can’t stand normally. But don’t be shocked – it could mean that no matter how horrid this person is, he/she could have certain qualities that you might want to emulate. Similarly dreams about relatives could indicate a desire for stronger family ties.

The opposite sex 
Don’t panic if you have a dream about having a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex. It does not mean that you have suddenly switched your sexuality. What it could mean is the desire for more understanding in your relationship. You probably need your partner to be more sensitive and caring towards you.

The stranger 
Making love with a mysterious stranger could represent the need for more mystery and spice in your life. This would be particularly relevant if you and your partner have let your sex life lag recently. Dreaming about a threesome too could signal a desire to break out of a boring romantic routine and get the spark right back in to your relationship.

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five Sex secrets every woman must know

Here are five sex secrets that may help you understand and get even closer to your guy…

Men are full of surprises and bedroom behaviour is no exception. While it’s impossible to explain all male behaviours, here are five sex secrets that may help you understand and get even closer to your guy.

He’s nurses the fear that he’ll let you down
Men feel tremendous pressure to perform sexually. While women aren’t waiting for marriage to have sex, and that means they are far more relaxed in the bedroom. Sexually satisfied role models, like Madonna and the ‘Sex and the City’ sirens, encourage urban women to be open about their sexual desires and complaints. These liberated women to cause some trouble for their male partners. Suddenly, the pressure to perform is on, and he can’t help but feel like he has to please you. Even though you may not be so bothered about his performance and you might forgive him for a few poor performances, he has a hard time forgiving himself. It’s really tough on him.

Warning:
If your man has a recurring problem of performance, he may start to blame you to protect his ego. Be prepared to handle this situation.

What you can do:
Don’t take it personally or, worse, insult him. And never laugh! Just pretend that it is no great deal for you.

Men need validation to get their groove on
Sex is a source of power from ages, and it gives proof that one is masculine. To a man, having sex means that he can move a woman, that he’s energetic, a provider and a lover. Basically, your guy wants to be a superhero, and he certainly wants you to see him in that light. When he satisfies you sexually, he feels like superman. If you’re enjoying yourself, let him know that. He’ll love you for your compliments.

Warning
No encouragement means no fun. Whether you are enjoying yourself or not, just be encouraging.

What you can do
A good rule of thumb: Don’t fake it but don’t fight it. Just look happy and satisfied and that would make your man feel super.

Men don’t like waiting too long
Women should never hold out to have sex simply because of the so called rules of dating. He is more likely to commit if there is a sexual component to the relationship, and it is important for him to know that you find him sexually desirable.

Warning
If your guy is offended when you initiate sex, get rid of him.

What you can do
We’re all sensual beings; we might as well be who we are. So don’t be afraid to make a move.

Men too are conscious about their bodies
Let’s face it: Men may not worry about weight nearly as much as women do, but they do have their own image issues.

Warning
Most men are quite concerned about their general physical condition, height and baldness. In other words, they are hoping for mood lighting in the bedroom just as much as women are.

What you can do
Help your man by telling him that you find him attractive and showing him affection.

Most men will not forgive a cheating girlfriend
Men who have been betrayed, especially in the bedroom, are far less likely to forgive their partners than women in the same situation.

Warning
Men want loyalty at all cost.

What you can do
Show your loyalty not only by remaining faithful when in a committed relationship, but also by supporting your man in front of colleagues and friends and defending him when necessary. This allegiance will make your man more secure and will give him the motivation to let loose in the bedroom with you. Men want commitment just as much as women do; they just want it packaged differently.

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Top 5 facts about male condoms

A healthy part of an active sexual life, there has been too much misinformation and insufficient research lurking around on the right usage, advantages and facts about condoms. Thus, in a bid to put an end to confusion and misunderstanding, we reveal to you the top 5 must-know facts about male condoms.

1. In actuality, the chances of condom failures are not more than 2%. Most of the condom failures occur because of not using them in a right way. A condom must be used over an erect penis in order to keep the sperms from entering the vagina. One must use condoms, which are made from latex, polyurethane, and polyisoprene because they help in protection against pregnancies and STIS.

2. One should not be using a condom, if they are allergic to latex.

3. Some people tend to believe that two condoms are better than one. This is not true. In fact, you tend to elevate the risk of tearing the condom because of the high level of friction.

4. Some of the most common causes of condom breakage are – lengthy or rough sex, using oil-based lubricants, anal sex, drying out of the vagina, and opening the condom package with a sharp object.

5. It is important to store condoms in a cool and dry place. This is because with extreme heat and moisture, the condom tends to become brittle and leads to extreme breakage during intercourse.

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Why sex is a big issue for Indian women

Wonder why your wife/girlfriend seems “off sex” of late? Why does she complain of a headache just when you are in the mood? Fact is, as with men, sex is a big issue for women too. Only, due to conditioning or lack of awareness, most women don’t articulate them.

Generally, women realise they have sexual problems only when: 
» It affects their relationship
» Their partner starts complaining
» When they are depressed
» When they themselves get involved in an extra-marital affair.

Also, the nature of problems differs slightly with age.

Younger women: 
Sexual problems relate more to body image issues and ‘performance anxiety’. Especially if they feel sex is the only way they can hold on to their relationship.

Older women: 
Sex boils down to a chore or duty after years of marriage/relationship. It then manifests in pains, aches, lack of orgasm and other physical symptoms.

The bottomline: 
Don’t blame your dull sex life on her PMS or mood swings. Gynaecologist Dr Suman Bijlani of Gyneguide tells you how to read between the lines.

Problem: Lack of interest
Message: Foreplay continues throughout the day 
A woman wants her man to make her feel special throughout the day. This sets up her mood for the special night. In a marriage, being interested in the house or taking care of the children is important. Conflicts with kids affects her relationship with her husband.
Hence make that special effort to show you care — through messages, gifts, a special outing etc.

Problem: Poor body image
Message: I want to feel beautiful when I’m with you 
A woman might shy away from intercourse due to poor body image — a result of low self-esteem. If her partner nags her about her lack of perfection, it can affect her sexual confidence. It’s foolhardy to say things like ‘your hips are too wide’ or ‘breasts are too small’ and later expect her to perform in bed. For a woman, the only solution is to work on herself as a person. Men get attracted by a woman’s confidence.

Problem: Faking it
Message: Orgasm isn’t everything 
Men tend to focus only on orgasm, but often for a woman, great foreplay is enough. Hence, ensure she is happy with the quality of sex. If she fakes an orgasm, it means she isn’t satisfied and doesn’t trust you enough to tell you. Such a behaviour points to chinks in the relationship, hence work on them first.

Problem: Frequency issues
Message: I am no sex machine 
Some men want sex every day, but with women, many other factors need to be in place. There is no ideal time or frequency for sex,but if the frequency of desire is very disparate, seek help. If a woman is stressed or has resentments towards her man, it reflects in lack of interest in sex.

Problem: Pain during sex
Message: Be considerate in bed 
A common problem, painful intercourse can result from vaginal infection or if the partner is very aggressive. Pain is of two types. Superficial pain: which occurs at the time of insertion. Or deep pain: that’s usually pathological or due to endometriosis or infections. This needs to be taken seriously. Using a lubricant or increasing foreplay can help.

Problem: Body odour
Message: Please be pleasant 
Both men and women can suffer from fungal infections, tinea infection and similar problems that lead to body odour. To stimulate a woman’s interest in sex, it is essential that the man maintains a pleasant personality and smells good as well. Taking the point further, he should make an effort to look good for his woman. It leads to a better response in bed.

Problem: Fear of pregnancy
Message: Take care of protection 
It’s often the fear of pregnancy that makes women shy away from sex. For good sex, it’s important for both partners to be equally aware and responsible for contraception.

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7 Sex secrets women want men to know

Seven sex secrets women wish their partner knew

A good talk is a great aphrodisiac

Many women find talk a great turn-on. For them, talking and feeling loved are very important. Good conversation during walks or while the couple is relaxing can be a great aphrodisiac. A man could tell his woman how much he loves her, which acts as a reassurance that he is with her mentally during those intimate moments.

Many women are anxious about their looks

For a couple that has been together for long, sometimes it is natural that women may feel that their partner may find them less alluring. Because of this some women undress only under the cover of darkness. Caring men can sense such anxieties. There is no need to lie and say she’s gorgeous if she isn’t, nor is there a need to say that she is not attractive anymore. One can always appreciate and praise what you do find attractive.

For a woman sex isn’t separate from rest of her life

On the other hand, men tend to compartmentalise, feeling that stressful aspects of life can be parked mentally and separated from sexual activity. Women need good feelings and experiences during the day to have satisfying sex. How her lover treats her out of bed, greatly influences her response in bed. Inattentiveness, harsh language, rude tones, hurtful words, and criticism can make it difficult for a woman to get involved, feel enthusiastic and be passionate during sex.

An orgasm is not a necessity

Many men feel that a good lover is one who can bring his woman to climactic sexual culmination. It is great to have such moments, but aren’t always essential. Many women feel pressure from partners and even from themselves to reach an orgasm. Sometimes instead of having orgasms, women prefer to engage in just foreplay.

Sex need not be a serious act
Playfulness is a great quality. Many men are far too serious about sex. They forget to laugh, be romantically mischievous, have fun. Playfulness and light-heartedness can make intimate moments enjoyable and relaxing. This takes performance pressure off from both partners.

Women cherish non-sexual touching and tenderness

Women love romance, cuddling, hand-holding and kissing. But many women complain that their men never do this except during foreplay. A woman should make her man realise the joy of touching. As you give him a relaxing massage and stroke his face and hair tenderly, he starts experiencing the joy of this kind of non-sexual touching. Tell your man what makes you feel loved and wanted.

Warm attention after sex is important

A woman’s need for tender moments goes beyond the actual lovemaking. Some women complain that men fall asleep immediately after the act. It is true that when a man is having sex, his endorphin level is very high. Almost immediately after ejaculation, he goes through a refractory phase where he loses his erection and all his systems gear down. In females this phase happens gradually. However, if you don’t like him falling asleep immediately, tell him without putting him down. Alternatively, let him sleep in your arms for a few minutes and gently wake him up afterwards.

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Sex education and algebra

London,: The Department for Education in the UK has decided that sex-education should retain it’s non-statutory status, so schools can opt out of teaching it if they choose. As a result of this decision, now only 25decision, now 25 percent of students are not getting sex education.

Curriculum for primary schools omits the names for external genitalia, and the teaching of contraception is delayed until Key Stage 4 when students are aged between 14 and16.

The government feels that teaching sex education is primarily a parental responsibility. As most parents do not perform it, schools play a vital role in educating children whose parents are either not willing or not able to provide them with the guidance that they need.

When it comes to sex-education, sexual chemistry is getting entirely overlooked.

Dr Helen E. Fisher, research professor in the department of anthropology at Rutgers University believes that sexual chemistry originates in the parts of the brain that make dopamine, the hormone that creates feelings of elation, energy, craving, motivation and obsession. Hormones, testosterone primarily, but also oestrogen, are thought to trigger feelings of lust while oxytocin and vasopressin get the blame for bonding.

Other research suggests that we sniff each other out like animals because pheromones, scents secreted by the sweat glands in the armpits and pubic hair can be picked up by the Vomeronasal organ, a small chemosensory structure in the human nose.

Still more research suggests that we are attracted to people who look like our parents.

Finding, keeping and evolving a decent relationship is probably the most significant thing most of us can ever hope to achieve in a lifetime, yet the education system places more emphasis on algebra than life skills which would prove so much more useful.

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5 never-heard before sexual fantasies

Seeking passion in their love life and wanting to enhance their sexual pleasure, both men and women harbour deep sexual fantasies. While some resemble the regular sex activities, others maybe wild in nature.

Some are even inspired by porn flicks. It’s not a bad idea to get down and dirty and introduce some adventure into your sex act by reenacting your sexual fantasies.

We’ve heard much about common sexual desires like making out on a secluded beach, having sex with an unknown stranger, seeing your partner undress in the light and duplicating porn stars etc. But have you ever heard of someone making love in a hot air balloon 1,000 feet above the ground or getting intimate with a fully clad partner in the elevator or storage room?

Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counselor explains, “Fantasies play a really crucial role in a couples’ sexual life as it can decide on their pleasure quotient. It has everything to make or break their sexual bonding. If fantasies are fulfilled, they can do magic and if not it they can insert trouble in the sexual paradise. The nature of a fantasy also matters because depending on his/her partner’s comfort levels -couples can make an effort to execute their fantasies together.”

Here are some never-heard before sexual fantasies that can rock your sex life:

1. Steamy romp using ice cubes : Couples who wish to move away from bedroom boredom can take their sexual act all the way to their washrooms, kitchens or balconies. Some couples love getting raunchy inside a deep freezer with frozen ice all around. “Once in summer, me and my wife decided to get naked and put cover up each other’s bodies with ice. As the ice melted it caused tantaslising sensations that turned us on. We also increased the lust quotient by licking and sucking the melting ice cubes from each others’ bodies. The heat in our bodies and the cool sexiness of the ice made us scream for more sex,” says Subodh Mishra, a 32-year-old advertising executive.

Hidden pleasure : Exchanging body heat with the cool sensations in your body is a great sex stimulant. It might be tough to bear the melting ice, but the process of heating up your partner is sure to keep you charged up.

2. Sexually aroused with a fully clad partner : It’s indeed exciting to witness your partner undressing slowly and arousing for a steamy act in bed. But it can be equally fun to slip between the sheets with a fully clad partner. “I always wanted to have sex with my boyfriend when we were fully clothed instead of routinely ripping off each others’ clothes. The hidden pleasure of finding your beau’s moan zones through their clothes adds an edge to the love-making,” says 27-year-old copy editor Pragya Sen.

Hidden pleasure : As you try to reach and find your partner’s trigger zones, the little hindrances here and there that come in your way, push you to act wilder and make your partner feel even more wanted. Opening his/her buttons or sliding your hands inside their clothes will add to the sexctasy.

3. Having sex in the trial room : This one figures high on the wish list of couples. “I find the urgency of making out in a public place makes me climax like never before. Me and my girlfriend once went clothes’ shopping at a unisex store and while trying out the clothes we started to kiss each other passionately. Soon, we had ripped each others’ clothes off and were wild. It was hard to keep our moaning down,” admits 21-year-old student Deepak Jha. So, tag along your lover for shopping and make sure to call them into the trial room for a secret sex soiree. “The quickie kind of sex is great to pep up one’s sexual appetite,” he adds.

Hidden pleasure : The fear of being caught at a forbidden location is what pushes couples to enjoy sex like never before. Watching their performance in the trial room mirror or keeping a check of who’s standing outside keeps them aroused for a gratifying act.

4. Making out in a hot air balloon : Nothing can be as adventurous as sex combined with an adventure sport. Couples seek pleasure while trying out things like bungee jumping, river rafting or trekking. But imagine flying 10,000 feet above the ground in a hot air balloon – there can be no better chance to get intimate with your partner. Such a fantasy might make you dish out the mullah, but the pleasure is surely worthwhile. “I once had sex with my fiance on a boat when we were out rafting. The cool winds, the open sky and the rocking of the boat made the sex unbelievable. Being naked amidst nature is a great thrill,” says 29-year-old teacher Madhavi Malani.

Hidden pleasure : It brings an immense gratification when you can view the whole world, but no one can see you as you indulge in a sexual session with your beloved.

5. Passion heat in a mud pond : Mud fights looks interesting on screen, but when real life couples jump into messy muddy pools with their lovers, it can certainly add to their sexual pleasure. It’s indeed a crazy fantasy to perform the act in a messy place, but the urge to get wild is what encourages couples to think out-of-the-box and enjoy sexual bliss. “There was some construction work going on in our compound that left the area extremely messy. Once after a vicious fight, we just got wild rolling in the mud and ripping off each others’ clothes. It was a stimulating experience to get so wild. So much better than a predictable sex on the bed with clean sheets. After the romp, we had a bath together and that got us lustful for more hot sex,” says 34-year-old lawyer Ram Chandra.

Hidden pleasure : As couples get all messy and dirty, they take extra pleasure in wiping the mud off from their partner’s body through their tender touches. These little gestures are a perfect way to stimulate their moan zones for a better performance.

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